OF COURSE, OF COURSE, I revel in non-obscurities and of course I am the one who builds the spines, the spires, the spikes, the spile spile tiresk.
All I ever fucking did was keep my head down and now you want to clean your hands of me? I never sullied them even once, I never made you spill blood for me.
I'm the one who shot those little doe-eyed baby rabbits clean through their necks, no, no...
It's more aligned to say: "I'm the one who laid down for you." Because I loved you.
And perhaps the issue lies therein. I love you because I was bound to you.
Bound to you I was, so distant yet drifting only in a single direction.
The sea stretched vast like forest out like arms, white cresting waves like little bunnies scampering along
But I did not follow the wind, those gales which chilled me to the bone and chapped my lips.
I floated in tandem with something, something far out there tugged me along.
But it would not show itself to me. It never showed itself to me.
So I gave up looking for it. For years I lived that way.
All thanks to you, of course.
But you've not curled about in these waters at all, have you? Yes, the line is "All humans have a great unified experience," I'm well aware.
Just as I am well aware that you never tugged the line even once.
And now that we are in our dwelling here, you act as though I am a plague.
What more do you fucking want from me?
I'm green and yellow and every color at once, I am seeing the sound here in the hole I have made.
And you want to clean yourself of me.
I want you to feel my pain for even a moment.
It is not special and it is not strong but it is persistent and you wish for me to bear it alone.
I am so terribly angry at you.
I want you to want to wrap me in warm woolen linens and light captive log-fires so that we may merely bask in their company
I am not a pox and I am so angry that you have made me feel like one, and furthermore...
That you have made me doubt that which is meant to guide me even in your absence.
I beat those serpents into the fucking mud and I aurificed those angels of my own blood and hair.
You are not horrible but I wish you were better and I wish you wanted me near you.
I wish you were not hypnotized by sonic raindances and feral sound.